THE FAMOUS "BAT SIGNAL"
WILLOWBROOK
DEPUTY
CLAUDE ANDERSON
I NOTICED ONE OF MY OLD RADIO CAR
PARTNERS HAS SIGNED IN THE GUESTBOOK.... VICTOR KRETSINGER. HERE IS ONE OF MY
FAVORITE PARTNERS OF ALL TIME. WHEN HE
WAS ASSIGNED TO ME AS A TRAINEE, THE LT. TOLD ME THAT I WAS GOING TO BE IN FOR
AN EXPERIENCE, AS VICTOR BRINGS NEW MEANING TO THE WORD "HYPER" AND THAT
PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP WILL BE PROVIDED BY THE COUNTY IF I NEEDED IT. GREAT!
NOW WHAT?
VICTOR HAD THE ABILITY TO COME UP WITH
ANY DIALECT YOU CAN IMAGINE. HE COULD
PASS HIMSELF OFF AS A BERLIN POLICE OFFICER WITH YEARS PATROLING THE AUTO BON
OR TELL OF HIS EXPLOITS AS A PUERTO RICO HIGHWAY PATROLMAN. NEITHER I NOR THE PATROL SGT'S WOULD KNOW
WHAT HE WOULD COME UP WITH NEXT.
HE HAD
THE UNCANNY ABILITY TO SPOT BURGLARIES EITHER IN PROGRESS OR JUST BEFORE THE
ATTEMPT WAS MADE. ONE MONTH WE LED THE
ENTIRE STATION IN FELONY OBS. THANKS TO HIM ALONE. I TOLD THE BRASS, I WAS THE ONLY TRAINING OFFICER WHO HAD A
TRAINEE AS A TRAINING OFFICER!
DURING THE TIME WHEN "BATMAN &
ROBIN" FIRST HIT THE TV. VICTOR DECIDED THAT WE WOULD BECOME "BATMAN
& ROBIN”, VICTOR COULD IMITATE PERFECTLY THAT HIGH PITCHED, WHINING,
WIMPERING, SUCKING UP TO, VOICE OF ROBIN.
NATURALLY I TRIED TO IMITATE THE FLAT BOARING, UNDERSTATEMENT MONOTONE
OF BATMAN.... COMPLETE WITH "YOGI
BERRA" TYPE SAYINGS. SUCH AS...
"WHEN YOU STEAL, YOU'RE TAKING THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU” OR "WHEN YOU DRIVE INTOXICATED YOU'RE NOT
SOBER” OR "A CRIMINAL IS A SICK
PERSON AND SICKNESS MAKES ME ILL"
(ENOUGH OF THIS)
VICTOR HAD A RUBBER PLASTIC TYPE DEVICE
HE WOULD SLIP OVER THE RIGHT SPOTLIGHT ON THE RADIO CAR...WHEN THE LIGHT WAS
TURNED ON...WOW! THE BAT SIGNAL WAS
PRODUCED ON WALLS, BUILDINGS & DRUNK DRIVERS.
ONE
EVENING WHILE WORKING CAR 15, IT WAS STILL LIGHT AND I WAS DRIVING SLOWLY DOWN
AN ALLEY WHEN VIC SEE'S SOME MOVEMENT NEAR A FENCE. WE CAN'T MAKE IT OUT, BUT IT LOOKED LIKE SOME TYPE OF ANIMAL
PERHAPS CAUGHT IN THE FENCE.
WE FOUND
TWO LITTLE BOYS LYING ON THEIR STOMACHS WITH THEIR LITTLE BUTTS IN THE AIR
TRYING TO PULL A BICYCLE UNDER THE FENCE.
THEY MIGHT JUST AS WELL TRIED TO PULL A 16 WHEELER THROUGH AS THE HOLE WAS
ONLY ABOUT A FOOT WIDE.
THEY
TURN AROUND AND SEE US AND THE FIRST BOY SAYS THE FAMOUS WORDS "OH
OH!"
WHEN
ASKED WHAT THEY WERE DOING THE SECOND BOY TRIES OUT, EXCUSE #1, "WHAT BIKE? I'M JUST WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL!" NATURALLY A GOOD DEPUTY HAS TO EXAMINE
ALIBIS AND THIS HAD TWO FLAWS.... WHO MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT A BIKE &
TODAY WAS A SATURDAY!
BOY
NUMBER 1 TRIES EXCUSE #2…THAT HE, "FOUND" THIS BIKE AND WAS GOING TO
TAKE IT HOME AND TRY TO FIND THE OWNER.
THIS EXCUSE ALSO SEEMED FLIMSY AS THE BIKE SEEMS TO BE ALREADY HOME. THEN
VICTOR COMES OUT WITH THAT INFAMOUS ROBIN VOICE AND SAYS "GOLLY GEE WHIZ
BATMAN.... IT LOOKS LIKE WE CAPTURED THE BICYCLE MISCREANTS. LOOKS LIKE A LONG STAY IN THE
CALABOOSE" (MY STUPID PART) NO ROBIN, OUR DUTY IS NOT TO PUNISH…THATS UP
TO THE JUDGE IN GOTHAM CITY...OUR JOB
IS SIMPLE APPREHENSION AS ......"EVIL IS A VERY BAD THING!"
THESE
TWO LITTLE GUYS (BROTHERS 7 & 8 YEARS OLD) NOW GOT VERY EXCITED ASKING IF
WE WERE REALLY BATMAN & ROBIN.... VICTOR EXPLAINED THAT WHEN WE ARE NOT IN
COSTUME WE PATROL THIS AREA WITHOUT OUR MASKS. NOW BOTH BOYS CAN'T TALK FAST
ENOUGH (NOBODY LIES TO BATMAN & ROBIN) THEY TELL US NAMES AND POINT OUT
LOCATIONS WHERE STOLEN BIKES, RADIOS TV’S ETC
ARE STASHED IN A GARAGE. VIC’S
NOTEBOOK GETS A WORK OUT.
WE DROVE
OUR "ALMOST BICYCLE THEIVES" TO THE LOCAL ICE CREAM PARLOR WHERE WE
BOUGHT EACH A THREE SCOOP CONE...THEN HOME TO GRANDMOTHER.
WHEN WE PULLED UP AT GRANDMOTHERS HOUSE
SHE WAS SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH.
VIC GOT OUT TO TALK TO HER FIRST AND I KEPT THE TWO LITTLE GUYS IN THE
CAR.
SHE
ASKED VIC WHAT THOSE TWO LITTLE FOOLS DID NOW? VIC TOLD HER THE WHOLE STORY AND
SHE HAD TEARS IN HER EYES LAUGHLING.
SHE WAS A FINE LADY TRYING TO RAISE TWO BOYS WHILE THEIR MOTHER WORKED
ODD HOURS AS A WAITRESS. GRANDMA WENT
ALONG WITH THE ENTIRE STORY AND COULD'NT BELIEVE THE SIZE OF THOSE ICE CREAM
CONES THE BOYS HAD. SHE MADE SURE THEY
THANKED "BATMAN & ROBIN" AND THEY PROMISED TO "BE A GOOD
CITIZENS OF GOTHAM CITY"
AFTER WE
PULLED AWAY, IT WAS OUR TURN TO LAUGH.
PERHAPS WE HELPED A LITTLE? IT'S
CERTAINALLY NOT STUFF YOU SEE ON TV, BUT IT'S POLICE WORK NOBODY NOTICES, BUT
THE SATISFACTION IS OURS ALONE.
THE NEXT DAY WE LEARNED OUR JUVENILE
DETECTIVES LOADED UP A PICKUP TRUCK WITH RECOVERED ITEMS, PLUS THOSE NAMED.
THE NEXT NIGHT VIC & I PASSED A GROUP
OF TEENAGE GIRLS AND THEY ALL WAVED "HI BATMAN & ROBIN” NOW HOW DID
THE WORD GET OUT SO FAST? MUST HAVE
SEEN VIC'S BAT SIGNAL?
FOR THE
NEXT FEW MONTHS I UNDERSTAND OUR UNITS IN THAT AREA NEVER TOOK ANOTHER STOLEN
BIKE REPORT!